Welcome to Mysteries Over Martinis! This blog is a mix of unexplained phenomena and personal encounters served up with a mystery-themed cocktail.  It’s a recipe for intrigue!

Dreamy Martini: 

Martini Glass, well chilled

 2 oz gin or vodka, chilled in freezer

 1/2 oz chilled dry vermouth

 Pimento stuffed olive(s) to garnish

Stir or shake, and poor into a chilled glass. Garnish with olives!

Dreaming of the Dearly Departed

As we close our eyes each night, we drift away from the waking world and enter the bizarre land of dreams. Although we may not always remember them, we all experience dreams on a nightly basis. There is much debate regarding whether or not dreams have any significance. There’s the belief that dreams are merely the brain stringing together a series of thoughts and images in a nonsensical fashion. On the other hand, some think dreams are a revelation of what may reside in the unconscious mind. Sigmund Freud believed dreams to be the road to the unconscious. He theorized that the ego’s defenses were lowered during sleep so that repressed material could be brought to light, albeit in a distorted form.  He explored the possibility of universal symbolism, some of which were sexual in nature. He cautioned that his theory could be taken too far noting that “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

Dreams have been responsible for the discovery of a couple of drugs, inventions such as the sewing machine, numerous novels, films, music and works of art.  Abraham Lincoln claimed to have a precognitive dream about his own death. People have even reported being contacted by deceased loved ones during the dream state which is referred to as a dream visitation. Accounts such as these intrigued me and lead me to investigate these unusual claims further. I’ll be exploring each of these aspects but this post will focus on Dream Visitations.

The following characteristics are common in what are described as dream visitations.

1. The experience is more real or vivid than a typical dream.
2. The dreamer has a clear recollection of details.
3. The deceased appears happy, healthy and behaves in a loving manner
4. A deceased delivers a message, usually one of reassurance. However, in some cases they give a warning.
5. The encounter leaves you with a feeling of peace and love.

There’s a theory that dreams create a bridge between the physical and spiritual worlds. This is due to the fact that our mind is no longer filtering our thoughts or beliefs when we sleep. Any pre-conceived notions and rationalizations are left behind as we enter the dream state. It’s also believed that the lack of external interference such as noise, electronics and traffic is conducive to reaching the ethereal realm.  This is not so different from meditation. Most meditation is done by sitting in silence and calming the mind in order to find peace. Many of those who meditate regularly report achieving a higher level of consciousness. Is it possible this state could be reached from the depths of a dream?

In order to lend credibility to this theory, I needed to find out what happens during the transition between awareness and a deep slumber. The first stage is the introduction to sleep. This is­­­­ where the muscles begin to relax and the brain activity slows from alpha waves which are present during states of relaxation or deep focus to theta waves which occur while daydreaming. You can easily be awoken at this stage. It is during this time we can experience the myoclonic jerk which is when your body twitches for reasons unknown and you awake.

The second stage involves a light dreamless sleep. The brain and muscle activity slow down even more and there’s a reduction in the heart rate, breathing pattern and body temperature. This is known as the beginning of sleep.

Stage 3 goes deeper and the brain begins to generate slow delta waves which are the slowest of the four kinds of brain waves. These transpire while in a dreamless state where we are unaware of what is happening.

Stage 4 is the deepest sleep state which results in rhythmic breathing and minimal muscle activity. The brain is producing delta waves. Often times, Stage 3 & 4 are combined into one phase with stage 4 being more intense than Stage 3. These are known as “slow wave sleep”.

The last stage is called Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. This is when a majority of dreams materialize. REM first occurs 90 minutes after falling asleep and recurs about every 90 minutes, getting longer later in the night. The heart rate and breathing pattern begin to speed up. Glycine (an amino acid) is released in order to temporarily paralyze the muscles. This muscle paralysis keeps us from acting out our dreams. The brain becomes very active with the increase to waves similar to those when we are awake and alert.

Recently, Theresa Caputo from the show “Long Island Medium” was featured on an episode of Dr. Oz. He wanted to have a brain scan done to see what (if any) changes occurred while she transitioned from sitting calmly on stage to communicating with spirit. She was hooked up to a device used to measure the electrical activity in her brain. Dr. Amen, a brain imaging specialist, compared the results and noted that the findings were quite interesting. First, he found that while Theresa sat quietly, her alpha waves were unusually strong. Dr. Amen remarked that these are ideal for those who want to meditate. When Theresa indicated that spirit was making contact, the alpha waves dropped and both her temporal lobes were activated causing an increase in her delta waves which occur during dreamless sleep. He even noted that when he was with Theresa back stage, she revealed private information of his own based on what spirit was telling her. He seemed surprised by both her and the findings.

I realize that television shows are made to entertain so I cannot put all my stock in this one episode. That being said, it does raise questions as to whether or not something may be occurring in the brain when someone claims to be communicating with the other side. In Theresa’s case, her brain is able to produce delta waves while she is awake. Perhaps this unusual occurrence is what allows a person to be a medium. Delta waves are the slowest and highest amplitude brain waves. They are the most unlike the waves we experience while we’re awake. Tuning in to a different realm may work similar to a radio. We are tuned in to the waking world and in order to access the spirit realm the tuner must be adjusted. Delta waves may be one key component needed in order to move the dial from one frequency to the next. However,  the change in brain activity may just be the first step in unlocking the door to the ethereal world. 

Research shows that sleep plays an important role in our overall health. It is essential for processing and consolidating emotions, memories and stress. It is also thought to improve learning and memory. The inability to get a full night’s rest can have negative effects on our moods, motivation and judgment. We have all suffered the consequences of a sleepless night. We become groggy, irritable and lack concentration.  If inadequate sleep creates a negative effect on us and adequate sleep keeps us balanced and sharp, is it possible to experience a superior sleep state? Circumstances such as stress, poor diet, illness and external noise can interfere with our sleep causing a restless night. Therefore, it would seem logical to me that someone who is exceptionally healthy mind, body and spirit may be able to achieve optimum sleep.  Perhaps it’s the perfect combination of external and internal factors that lead to strokes of genius, give insight into the future or even put us in touch with a world beyond our own. I believe that experiencing ‘optimal sleep’ is what helped facilitate my own encounter from beyond the grave.  Below is my story. I have changed the names for privacy purposes.

 I had met Todd on the first day of 7^th grade. We had left our respective grade schools behind and moved on to the awkward stage of life known as junior high. That Monday morning, we reported to our homerooms. I made my way to room 105 which I discovered was the art room. I enjoyed art, so I was happy to be surrounded by such interesting decor. A sweaty middle aged man with gold-rimmed glasses stood by the class room door anxiously waiting for us to filter in. When the bell rang, there were 22 nervous pre-teens sitting at 5 tables arranged in the shape of the letter U. We faced the balding teacher as he paced in front of the chalk board at the front of the room. Mr. Hanson introduced himself to us as our homeroom teacher and welcomed us to our new school.

Next was roll call. After he read down the series of last names beginning with L, he scribbled something at the bottom of his attendance list and walked outside the door to hang it for collection. This was the office’s way of keeping tabs on the students. I took the opportunity to introduce myself to the two people I was seated between. Brianne Lambert sat on my left. She had straight brown hair which fell just below her ear lobes and big brown eyes. A short sleeve polo shirt, jean shorts and brown leather sandals adorned her small frame. She had a clean cut appearance that screamed all-American girl.  She was quiet but friendly. As time went on, I learned she had a sarcastic sense of humor like me. We enjoyed making fun of Mr. Hanson and his excessive sweating. He was an excitable man who couldn’t seem to sit still. He was constantly pacing or shifting positions while sitting on his stool. He was nice but his oddities made him an easy target. He was entertaining to say the least.

Todd Lacey sat to my right.  He, on the other hand, had a much rougher exterior. He had unruly blond curls and blue eyes. He was fair-skinned with pink cheeks. He was wearing acid washed jeans which were worn and frayed. He had paired them with a black hairband t-shirt layered beneath a tattered flannel shirt.  He too, was very friendly and easy going. I got the impression that Todd came from a less fortunate family.  He wasn’t well liked at school because of his rebellious nature and heavy metal appearance. A lot of the “preppy” boys teased him. However, Todd always treated me with respect. His locker was close to mine so every morning he greeted me with a smile. We met for homeroom each Monday morning for announcements so he and I often engaged in small talk during that time.

One Monday morning, Mr. Hanson did a series of brain teasers to help stimulate our minds. He had some photos up on a projection screen.  One of them was of a corked glass bottle with a penny in it. Mr. Hanson asked, “Here you have a glass bottle with a penny in it. You cannot break the bottle or pull out the cork, so how do you remove the penny?”

Because of my fear of speaking up in class, but my need to feel smart, I leaned over to Todd and whispered, “Push the cork in.”

 He immediately raised his hand and answered, “Push the cork in!”  He then smiled at me as if to say thanks.

“Hey!” I elbowed him jokingly for stealing my thunder.

 Then he uttered something that haunts me to this day, “Just let me have this. I guarantee ya, you’ll live a much longer life than I will. You have your whole life to be right.” The cocky smile slowly disappeared from his face and he leaned back in his chair. The jovial mood had suddenly turned quite morbid.

 “Don’t say that Todd. You don’t know that.”  I quietly responded in a serious tone. I was stunned by his odd comment. What would possess him to say something so bizarre?

 Unfortunately, Todd was right. 4 years later he was dead. He had not done well in school so our freshman year he transferred to an alternative high school. I had not seen him in those 2 years but it sounds like he had gotten mixed up in the wrong crowd. He and a friend were in an alley behind a convenient store huffing butane to get high. Todd had inhaled a high dose which caused him respiratory distress. His breathing and heartbeat slowed down to the point of cardiac arrest. His friend ran inside the store and asked the attendant to call for the paramedics. By the time the ambulance had arrived Todd was gone.

The news of his death brought me great sorrow. I spent that night lying in bed remembering the time I spent with him in home room. I couldn’t believe he was gone. His comment about his mortality loomed over me like a black cloud. I couldn’t shake it. I often pondered whether he truly knew his life would be a short one or if his thoughts had become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I contemplated if his demise was an accident or perhaps a death wish. I would like to think his dark comment was just a passing thought, but time proved his remark to be prophetic.

 I did not attend Todd’s funeral. It was on a school day and I didn’t know him well enough to ask my parents to excuse me from my classes. Thoughts of him overwhelmed me throughout my classes that day.

 I said a prayer for him and his family that night before going to sleep. So many thoughts inundated my head.  I never questioned whether or not there was an afterlife but contemplated what it was like. I wondered if he could comprehend that he was dead. I questioned if he was sitting at home as if nothing had happened or if his spirit was travelling freely on the astral plane. The possibility that Todd may have reincarnated at the instant of his death also entered my racing thoughts.

My mind began to replay the news segment I had seen earlier in the evening regarding Todd’s death. His mother Diane, sat motionless on her couch staring at a page from one of Todd’s photo albums. She bit her bottom lip and wiped tears away from her puffy blue eyes. She described him as a “good son who cared about others.” She mentioned his love of motorcycles and working with his hands. Todd had worked a summer job with the Conservation Corps and had recently picked up a part time job doing lawn care. “He seemed to be finding his niche in life, but now that’s all gone…” She trailed off as she began to sob.

 Diane’s sadness tore at my heart strings. I cried myself to sleep that night. I could not begin to grasp the devastation she must be feeling. My heart went out to her and his family.

I hadn’t thought about Todd much in the last 10 years or so. I was far removed from my high school days.  My husband Jake and I had just bought our first house. His summer military training happened to coincide with our house closing & moving date so all the responsibility fell on my shoulders. I needed a way to bridge the gap between the chaos I was experiencing and the harmony I longed for. While Jake was away, I decided to make the most of my time by exercising, cooking healthy meals and relaxing in silence. I found that unwinding in a calm environment provided a sense of clarity and became a source of meditation. These life changes not only helped to reduce my stress but they were enhancing my overall well-being.  I began sleeping more restfully and my intuitive skills were getting sharper.  It was during this time that I received a visitation when I least expected it.

 As with most dreams, I couldn’t tell you how I got where I was. My awareness started with me and a tall, nondescript companion walking down a city sidewalk. The only glimpse I got of the figure was out of my peripheral vision. It felt like a male presence but I never made eye contact with him. We continued walking alongside a major thoroughfare as cars sporadically drove by. The asphalt was flawless. There was no sign of dirt, cracks or imperfections. Beautifully manicured grass filled the gaps between the pavement and the street. The city was sparsely populated and each building stood alone, enveloped by lush green landscapes.  I was admiring the scenery and paid little attention to the people passing by. There was a tall concrete structure directly across the street from us. It was a perfectly rectangular building with a huge lawn surrounding it.

We waited at the crosswalk for the traffic to stop.  When the cars came to a halt, my companion and I approached the other side of the street toward the stately structure. As we nearly cleared the last lane, my companion motioned to two men walking through the lawn in front of the building. I didn’t pay much attention to the men.  I just kept slowly walking alongside my escort while admiring the beauty of the city. I suddenly realized he was no longer at my side. I looked behind me to see my fellow traveler standing on the grass talking to one of the men who was also nondescript. It was as if their presence was real but they had no physical features. As I turned to look back into the direction I had been walking, I noticed the 2^nd man began to approach me. I did a double take. I was in awe of who I was seeing. It was Todd. He was now a handsome adult man. He flashed me the same warm smile he used to give me in junior high.

“Todd?! What are you doing here?! I can’t believe it’s you!”  I asked in disbelief. He sauntered through the grass and met my embrace on the sidewalk.

“Hello Lisa! It’s good to see you.”

“I can’t believe this. You… you look amazing!”  I said as I looked into his lively blue eyes.

Todd was much taller now and his style was the polar opposite of how I remembered it. He was wearing a long wool navy coat, designer jeans and stylish leather loafers. Smooth blond waves framed his unblemished fair skin.  He was the epitome of high class.  I was beside myself. Not only was I shocked by his presence, but his appearance was breathtaking.

 He and I left our companions behind and began to walk down the sidewalk together. Our bodies were very close to one another. I had an overwhelming sense of peace. We didn’t speak, we just strolled to the end of the street. When we reached the end of the sidewalk, we both stopped and looked at one another.

“I just wanted to thank you for caring. You cared when not many did. Please don’t be sad. I’m really happy here. Everything happened the way it was supposed to.  Enjoy your life. Maybe in another time…”  Todd trailed off.

 I wasn’t sure what he meant until he placed his hands on my shoulders, leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, but it wasn’t without meaning either. He slowly pulled away and smiled at me as if to say, “I’ve waited a long time to do that.” He turned and began to walk back in the direction we came. I watched his tall figure disappear slowly.

I woke up from the dream as soon as Todd vanished from sight.  I was overwhelmed by what had just transpired. In my mind, I had just been contacted and conversed with someone who died nearly 16 years before. It felt as if I had been guided to another space and time in order to receive a message unable to be delivered to the earthly world.  This dream was unlike others. Many factors set it apart from my typical dreams. The encounter was as physically engaging as it was visually. In the dream, I was aware that Todd’s presence shouldn’t have been possible. This kind of consciousness doesn’t exist in my usual dream state. The imagery was incredibly vivid and I recalled far more details than normal. This “dream” was baffling yet provided me with a sense of peace.  I no longer viewed Todd’s death as a tragedy but rather his time to transition. Reuniting with him gave me a better understanding of the afterlife. This encounter left me wondering what else may be possible when we enter the realm of dreams.

I invite you to post your comments, questions or personal encounters. Anything weird is always welcome. Please be respectful, though.  I have the right to remove anything I deem disturbingly dark or “dickish.”

Cheers!